My wife and I can’t shake the desire to move elsewhere. Even during times when we’re living somewhere great, surrounded by friends and culture and beauty, we’ll unroll a map and start dreaming of other places...
Thinking about moving all the time is not always healthy, as you eloquently describe. In my experience, which includes three international moves in the past ten years, two of them with kids, it's the moving itself that sharpens that desire the most. It makes you see what's possible, but once you know what's possible it's easier to be unhappy where you are. Here I am, living abroad, and you know what I dream about? Moving to upstate New York.
It took me years to realize that I have the causality all wrong. I tend to think it's the place that makes me unhappy. Maybe it's the people, or the weather, or the food. Those are the problems, I tell myself, and they don't have anything to do with me. In reality, I often become unhappy because of something completely unrelated to where I live, and then use the place as a scapegoat for my unhappiness. This is a much easier trap to fall into when I remember that I have a choice about where I live.
The solution, for me anyway, is not to stop dreaming. Instead, I try to remember that I'm unlikely to be any happier anywhere else. So I dream, of course, and I also try to find ways to understand why I'm feeling what I'm feeling, and whether it's actually related to where I live. And that's a skill I can take anywhere.
Thank you for capturing these conflicting feelings so beautifully. I feel less weird! Even though I moved abroad, the wanderlust remains. I hope my kids think of our family as home, wherever we are.
Also, I've never heard "You’re only as happy as your least happy child" before....but, wow, that is now seared into my brain.
Beautiful description of that Urge for Going... move to London!
Okay! Here we come!
Great we’ve reserved a room for you all at Claridges. High Tea will be served at 4pm.
Thinking about moving all the time is not always healthy, as you eloquently describe. In my experience, which includes three international moves in the past ten years, two of them with kids, it's the moving itself that sharpens that desire the most. It makes you see what's possible, but once you know what's possible it's easier to be unhappy where you are. Here I am, living abroad, and you know what I dream about? Moving to upstate New York.
It took me years to realize that I have the causality all wrong. I tend to think it's the place that makes me unhappy. Maybe it's the people, or the weather, or the food. Those are the problems, I tell myself, and they don't have anything to do with me. In reality, I often become unhappy because of something completely unrelated to where I live, and then use the place as a scapegoat for my unhappiness. This is a much easier trap to fall into when I remember that I have a choice about where I live.
The solution, for me anyway, is not to stop dreaming. Instead, I try to remember that I'm unlikely to be any happier anywhere else. So I dream, of course, and I also try to find ways to understand why I'm feeling what I'm feeling, and whether it's actually related to where I live. And that's a skill I can take anywhere.
Copenhagen. And don’t look back!! 🇩🇰
stunning. Stunning, stunning, stunning.
Man, you’re good at this.
Thank you for capturing these conflicting feelings so beautifully. I feel less weird! Even though I moved abroad, the wanderlust remains. I hope my kids think of our family as home, wherever we are.
Also, I've never heard "You’re only as happy as your least happy child" before....but, wow, that is now seared into my brain.
The kids thinking of family as home is the absolute ideal.